I don't quite know where it's coming from. But its there. And it hurts. (Haha, way to state the obvious.) Partially, I think its just another attack. (Ride it out, just riiiide it out....) But partially...

-I miss Michael so much. He makes the world make sense, makes it seem so much smaller simply by being there with me. Without him, I'm facing this world on my own, and that's pretty damn scary. Not impossible... But nowhere near as nice.

-I'm sick like woah, from too much sun (outside ALL day sunday, with no protection) andd the freezing cold rain for four hours didn't help, neither did the slightly questionable food. You know, it's summer, and I'm canadian, but I'm STILL cold.

-I'm frustrated by being trapped in my own life. I moved to Kingston so I could try to pick up the pieces of my life, but all thats happened is that I'm covering up the problems with yet another wall. It might even be worse than before because out here, I don't have any form of release. In Hamilton at least, I could be alone to cry or be angry and not have people butting in. I could go and get high or drunk with my friends when I felt like forgetting and having a good time (course, didn't do that too often, don't want to end up a 17yr old alcoholic O_O). I could spend a day in bed when I needed to just clear my head, or go for a walk to wherever I wanted. Here? Nope. Can't do ANYTHING without somebody butting in. Which just makes it worse.

-I cant eat properly... It kind of scares me. I catch myself more and more often, counting the calories and servings and other information that I've never before paid attention to, and at every single time I go to eat even! It's so strange. And I see people's reaction to this... I can't help but question; have I really lost sight of that line? Am I actually traveling alongside an eating disorder? Or are people being over-careful once again? Are they actually the ones with a distorted view? I wish there was a clear answer.

Okay. Well. I've vented now... Slightly. It's no replacement for a nice long walk, or one of my other cures... But. It's all I've got. And it does help a little, which is better than nothing at all. So.. I'm going to go put my head down to sleep. And then tomorrow, I'm gonna lift it up again, and hold it high, and look on the bright side. Here's hoping everyone else can do it too <3 *hugs and kisses!*